Thank goodness my In-Camp Training is finally over. The five day stay at the remote Sugei Gedong camp was a good time for reflection. In the midst of taking care of sick people and providing medical cover, there were vast spaces of time for me to simply let my mind wander. Thinking too much has always been my forte and this ICT is the best time for me to do that.
The first day was all about handing and taking over stores. Being a corporal, I didn't have to use my brains at all. Muscle power was all that was needed. I couldn't fall asleep the first night, mainly because I was thinking about her. I thought it would be wise not to contact her throughout the duration of my reservist. If I cannot bear to leave her for one week, I'll never be able to leave her for two years. It may be a form of suppression, but it's part a training to control my emotions. I do not know how or why my personality has drifted from the practical and indifferent attitude I had before. Why am I bothered by feelings? Why do I care so much? Isn't the task at hand more important? What are my priorities? These thoughts and more kept me tossing and turning all night long.
On the second day I was ordered to take care of soldiers that were reporting sick and assist the medical officer in handling their medical documentation. The computer program was archiac, but so was I. The last time I used such a program was more than five years ago, and it was a DOS version. Luckily the full time NS medics were helpful in teaching me how to use their system and in no time I was processing their documents and printing out Medical Certificates. Since that night, I slept peacefully every night. Probably because I had accustomed to the new bed. Probably because I didn't care to think so much.
I was told to provide medical cover for soldiers out at the shooting range on the third day. As the cover medic, my job was to provide first aid and evacuation of whatever injuries sustained during the training exercise. The Regimental Seargant Major was patroling around like a shark, looking for unprepared, undisciplined soldiers to prey on. He spotted me, and politely tested me on all my medical knowledge. What to do when there's a gunshot wound, what if the pulse is weakening, how to do CPR, etc... Stressed as I was inside, I had to put on a professional front and answered his questions calmly. Seeing that I wasn't prey, he moved swam away peacefully.
Thursday was the day when I started getting sick of being in camp, and it wasn't because the training was too tough or that there was nothing to do. I was simply sick and tired of being confined from the outside world. Although internet connection was provided, it was from an old computer terminal that was shared by the entire battalion, so I had to wait for my turn. Clearing my inbox was all I could do, but then I realized that I wasn't really addicted to the computer. I was missing my friends.
They conducted a physical fitness test on Friday morning. The weather was perfect. The warm rays beamed from the morning sun and drove away all the melancholy building up inside. It was out-process day, the day we've all been waiting for. Only a few hours to freedom. Freedom unlimited. So that was the thing bugging me all along. I had forgotten that going back camp was a surrender of my civilian freedom. To go where I want, do what I want.
For some reason, the NS-phobia only set in after my ICT. I didn't want to go back there, but now I don't have to. Coming Monday I'll be back in my lab, doing experiments as I've always been and enjoying my life as usual. The reservist week has certainly made me tougher and has given me a glimpse of how my psychology will play out when I'm away from home. My take home message from this is: be prepared.
